i’m backkkkkkk…and i’ll try to be here “err day err day” when i’m not working outside at job #1 talking photos and job #2 folding clothes. I will try my best to post diy’s and projects that are in my head waiting to be created!!
How do I know if I’m being what I’m supposed to be?
My reality that I have known has been empty and shallow.
You show up in my reality and I’m afraid that, that’s all you’ll ever be.
I’m trying to take it one step at a time, slowly as I can.
Trying to enjoy and appreciate this small containment of joy.
For once in my life, I feel better then sad and really before good. `
Lately I’ve been learning what being happy means.
I’m worried that it’s only happiness that I feel at the wrong time.
Even if it’s temporary, I want it to be worth something, if anything.
I don’t have time to waste, and I don’t plan on spending yours.
This girl here has a mind of her own.
Her mind seems to crumble the memories once embedded in her heart.
Though she does not choose to, it’s only evitable.
How do I really know that you care?
Are those just words you’ve perfected on previous loves?
Do those same words come from your heart
or your pants?
So far, I know you possess something
There’s a man,
who I found
that seems to
that there’s more
of my being then my
He called me
didn’t believe him.
He wanted to be
more then strangers
and greater then friends.
And I hope
he has my
in the end.
is not an option.
Yet, I end up in it.
When I thought I could do better then
I can’t do it on my own.
You say to ask for your help.
But what do I do when
you don’t respond?
I feel mislead, lost and worse,
abandoned by you.
Out of all people you aren’t supposed to do that.
I thought this was just supposed to be
Just a lesson.
and think about what I do.
But now it just feels like
a cruel punishment.
You say to suffer is to gain.
Strength, they say is what you get.
Weak and delicate is how I feel.
Now you ask me to look at
I’m making mistakes you say.
And what if I am?
I don’t feel your presence.
No guilt or sympathy.